Supercharger, man. What a way to start off the show. "Sooprize Package for Mr. Mineo" from the 7" of the same name, on Super Team Records out of 1991. Hello, and welcome to Roadkill Radio for another week. I am your host, Benny Two Shoes. Very happy to have you along with me for this train wreck of a ride we're about to embark on. First, we must very much thank Dirty Water Records as being one of our sponsors. That's Dirty Water Records, taking music backwards into tomorrow. www.dirtywater.co.uk. Girlsville Records, that's girlsville.bandcamp.com for all of your punk, hardcore, power, pop and other stuff needs. And our good buddies, 53rd and 3rd, that's the 5-0, the T-H-I-R-D. The A-N-D, the 3-R-D, the.com. Written by music junkies, for music junkies. And some great articles on there indeed. New music, old music, punk rock, jazz. Everything in between. Go there right now, 53rd.com. Anyway, I'm holding this thing in my hand. I'm shaking it in front of the mic, but it makes no noise. It's a weird device. Have any of you ever used a dental dam? You know, that glorified cling wrap device that you place over a lady's vagina immediately prior to cunnilingus? You know... giving face, dining at the Y, going the old furburger clam chowder. Anyway, dental dams. What's the etiquette when using a dental dam? I mean, look, us as a society, now, we're conditioned that, if necessary, to use a condom, then we'll use a condom. You know, you're hot and heavy in the heat of battle with your partner, and she whispers, oh so seductively, but oh so fucking annoyingly, "Get a condom, honey". And then you spend the next half an hour stubbing your toe in the dark, looking for some out-of-date condom that may or may not be there. And even in the off miracle of a chance that you do find a condom, then you still gotta open the fucking wrapper, and they're impossible, and then you gotta roll the damn thing on. By then, old Abdul, yes, I call my penis Abdul, is about as flaccid and lukewarm as a used teabag, hey. And not one of those good quality, expensive salon teabags either. I'm talking McCormick's flaccid. That fucking flaccid. I digress. The dental dam. So, what's the etiquette? How do you say to a lady, as you're kissing and sucking and biting and dry humping your way down to the promised land, that, hold on honey, before I smoosh my face all over your most glorious of vajayjays, let me just slip this film of cling wrap over that nasty pussy, just in case. How the fuck is that going to go down? Pardon the pun. That's as big a mood killer as your partner telling you that your grandmother just called right before you're about to slip it in or something. So there's a reason why I'm actually asking this. Because now, as I sit here holding this ridiculous thing in my hand, I'm here to tell you that this week we have a one-off special. Buy ten Roadkill Radio mini skirts and you get a free year's supply of official Roadkill Radio-approved dental dams. That's right. Now you can lick your lady all while staring into the logo we all know and love so well. The Roadkill Radio sinister skull. Our God. And it makes sense too because cleanliness is next to godliness. It'll be like licking the clitoris of God himself. Or if you're not in the market for 10 really ugly mini skirts and a year's supply of dental dams. We also have t-shirts, hoodies, travel mugs, stickers and other pointless crap also. T-shirts are 25 bucks. Go to www.roadkillradioshow.com/merch and do it now. Anyway, how about some Fuck You? Time to get some shit off the liver. Post-menopausal women who cut their hair short to look like little boys, fuck you. Look, I understand that people need to be comfortable, and yes, I understand that a long thinning mass of aging crusty straw substance that is a bird's nest of sixty-year-old-woman hair must get pretty damn uncomfortable to wear from time to time, especially in the hot weather. Also, let it just be said, before all you PC motherfuckers start on me that women aren't there to be sexy, blah, blah, blah. I get you. But women are also not there to look like prepubescent, wrinkly ten-year-old boys. These haircuts are fucking ridiculous and they must stop now. When I was a boy, back when I had zero control over styling the particular follicles on my body, mother would take me to an old Italian barber who would literally put a bowl on my head and cut around it. It looked fucking ridiculous. Now, that wasn't my choice, I was a kid, but even if it was my choice, I was ten. I didn't know any better. Ladies, listen, especially you post-menopausal types, you do know better. You do have a choice. Why the hell do you all seem to get to that phase in life where you think, you know what, fuck it. I've looked beautiful long enough. My husband's a hideous old troll these days anyway, so I'm going to pay $300 to have my hair cut to look like a fucking little boy. Maybe then some old pedophile will find me attractive. Who knows? What is there, like some old ladies version of the Freemasons? Some secret society that get together once a month hatching plots to cheat at canasta and giving each other bowl cuts? What the hell, old ladies? My mother... dear old mum. She still has long hair. Sure, underneath the gallons of black hair dye and oceans of expensive conditioner is a greying mass of straw that, let's be frank, not even a street cat would want to make a home out of. Bowl cut ladies, please, just because your cycles are over, just because your once- movie-star-looking husband is now nothing more than an amoebic bottom dweller all ear hair and flatulence, doesn't mean that you have to give up. It's taking the piss. It's taking the piss on you. It's taking the piss on me. And it's taking the piss on a planet that is already strewn with so much human ugliness that the actual earth core is collapsing in on itself in a vain attempt to commit some sort of planetary suicide. Please, old ladies, don't let the earth kill itself. If it does, it's on you. Postmenopausal women who cut their hair short to look like little boys? Fuck you. Holy hell, Jesus Christ, I love that band. That was Towanda from Montreal, the song, "Another Bridge Burned". Prior to that, you heard Nots, the song "Cruel Friend", from their "Cruel Friend/Violence" 7-inch from last year. Portland's very own Collate were before that. "RNA" is the song, "Material Inspection" is the album. These church bells are driving me mental. A band from France, Black Boys on Moped is the name. The song "Blind". Just a two person combo. They're bloody good. The album "Love, With a Little Bit of Noise". You heard Ten High, Roadkill Radio's very, very, very, very, very favorites. The song you heard was "Skin Crawlers", Ten High from Fayetteville, Arkansas. Prior to that, from Cancun, Mexico. Electric Shit, the band, with the legendary Walter Daniels, and I know I say legendary a hell of a lot, but when it comes to Walter Daniels, he is an absolute superstar legend. And they've done the song "Sally Mae", which is a killer. That's from their 7-inch put out on Musica Para Locos. And yeah, do yourselves a favor, kiddies. Get it! And prior to that, we heard a band from Spain called Wau y los Aarrrghs!!! I guess is how you would say it. W-A-U y los Aarrrghs!!! A-double-R-double-R-G-H-S and three exclamation points. The song "El Mananero" from the "El Mananero" EP from Slovenly. The Shitdels from Nashville before that. The song "City Witch" from their self-titled album, which I have been playing to death on the show and will continue to play to death until I run out of tracks. From Japan, you heard Gutara Kyo, the song "Haku Cyu Mu Daydream" from the "Gutara Kyo" album. Also on Slovenly Records. And also on Slovenly Records. The Monsieurs, I just realized I've just played a shitload of Slovenly. I didn't even mean that. "High School Star" from the "Duh" album from last year. Andy California. You are a god damn superstar. I didn't even know we had a phone. Hello, Roadkill, where all your dreams come true. Who, sorry? Slovenly Records, oh, hello Slovenly. How are you? Is this Mr Slovenly? Ah, it's very nice to talk to you. What can I do for you? Yes, I have been playing a lot of your stuff, inadvertently, mind you, because Dirty Water Records are our major sponsors at the moment, and they're doing a bang up job, I think. You'd like to come on board? Well, I would have to think about that, because like I said, Dirty Water Records are our major sponsors, so... Okay, Mr Slovenly. Thank you very much, I will think about that. You're a very good man, thank you. And you will work hard for me, oh, well, that'll be a change. Okay, thank you. Okay, bye. Wow, okay, that was interesting. Let's play some more music. Okay, that was some stuff and a half right there, wasn't it? Shall we start from the top? We'll work our way back. Let's start from the top. Top of that bracket, you heard Lost Cosmos from Oklahoma City, the song "Most". And that's from their self-titled debut album, one I urge you to listen to, particularly if you're into that neo-prog, krautrock style of music. That's gonna be right up your alley. Killer band, Lost Cosmos. Rapeman, after them, the great Steve Albini, the song "Hated Chinee" from their "Two Nuns and a Pack Mule" album on Touch and Go from 1988. Playing that, essentially, I was inspired to by a brief conversation I had with Nick from Noisecrumbs, which is a really great website, actually. If you want a killer music website with fun, frivolity, hilarity and blogs from a pretty different angle than most, then go to noisecrumbs.com, check it out. A band that was very much influenced by Rapeman and Big Black was a band called Denial from Melbourne, Australia, short-lived. The song "351 (Song for Petrol Heads)" from their "Joy with No Name" album from 1990. You heard Hospitals featuring the genius that is John Dwyer. The song "Again and Again" from their self-titled debut album from 2003. After that, you heard Germ House, who are mighty, the song "Seven into Seven". Then, you heard Digital Leather, the song "Fantasy Boys" from their monologue album from 2006. Catatonic Youth were after that, the song "I've Had It" from their seven inch of the same name from 2007. And finally, a belter of a band with a belter of a song. The band Hand and Leg, the song "Bloody Hole" from their self-titled album on Slovenly Records. That's Slovenly Records. You're listening to Roadkill Radio. My name is Benny Two Shoes, and I urge you all to sit and listen now as I continue to play some more quality rock and or roll. Now, Girlsville Records' Record of the Week this week, the song "Believe" by Mr. Airplane Man, and that, of course, can be found on "Our Voltage". Just go to girlsville.bandcamp.com, seven bucks on CD or digital, and plenty of great bands, and for a very worthy cause as well. And speaking of Girlsville, prior to that, you heard the ETTS from Girlsville's very first compilation, "Stupid Punk Boy" from 2015, the song "Live and Let Live". Proto-Idiot were before that with "What Is My Purpose". From France, you heard Edith Nylon, the song "Tank", from the seven-inch of the same name from 1979. From 1980, you heard The Nuns, the song "Savage", from their self-titled debut, and we started out that bracket with the mighty power pop band that is The Bureaucrats, the song "Grown Up Age", from their "Field of Pain", seven-inch, from 1980 as well. You are listening to Roadkill Radio. My name is Benny Two Shoes, and now it is time for… that's right, poindexters, it is that time of week once more where we stand in a really awkward sort of position with our arms sort of forward of ourselves, kind of slouching, but tense at the same time. And we attempt to clench our fists, but because we haven't been working out lately, we can't even do that. We're skinny and pathetic, really, but at least we have the energy to do some nerd dancing. Cast your minds back, nerds. Do you remember, remember when you grew up poor? You're a poor nerd. You used to have a shirt with a little pocket, and you used to put your pens in that pocket, but the pens would leak, and so your crisply, starched, ironed, white, short-sleeved shirt buttoned up to the very top with that really short tie that you used to wear now looks terrible because you've got all this pen ink all seeping through the material, but because you're poor you could not afford a pocket protector, and all the other nerds picked on you. You were the ultimate nerd. The nerds with the pocket protectors picked on you because you couldn't even afford a pocket protector. That's how pathetic your life was. I hope it's much better now. It's going to be much better now because all you need to do is close your eyes, pretend that you're dead because really that's your only hope, and dance away to Carol Kim and "Noi Buon Con Gai". Ah, yes, our nerd dancing song of the week. All the way back from 1969, all the way out in Vietnam, from a compilation called Saigon Rock and Roll. That was Carol Kim. The song "Noi Buon Con Gai". And I hope you enjoyed it. It's a bit of a funky see funky do type nerd dancing song this week. You are listening to Roadkill Radio. My name is Benny Two Shoes. Let's keep this thing going. We'll change direction just a little bit. Let's do it. A whole stack of love songs, with the song about an infamous serial killer thrown in just for fun. The song you just heard was from the Oblivians, "Live the Life", the song. From 1997's "Play Nine Songs with Mr. Quintron" album. The song about the infamous serial killer, "Jack The Ripper" from the One Way Streets from 1967, You heard the Pussycats from 1965, the song "I Want Your Love". From 1963, you heard Eddie Bridges and His Low Riders, the song "Peek-A-Boo". And we started out that bracket with one of the most beautiful songs ever written and recorded, The Penguins with "Earth Angel" from their "Hey Senorita" 7" from 1954. Alright, you're listening to Roadkill Radio. I'm Benny Two Shoes. Let'sget stuck in to some more music, eh? Yee, got Pistol Pete here and I'm back. And well, folks, I gotta tell ya, that ol Pistol Pete is a free man. Yep, a swingin bachelor. Ol Pistol Pete's wife, Calamity Sue, up and left with my prized pig, Bessie Sue, and however many kids I had left that didn't die, she done gone moved to the big smoke, leavin ol Pistol Pete with no one to touch, other than broke ass Betty, the three-legged alligator down at the old bayou. And well, goddamn, if ol Pistol Pete ain't the luckiest man alive, because when I try and make griddles with broke ass Betty, she don't even move. She might be dead, I don't know, but hell, who cares? I mean, a man, he's gotta get his end wet, right? And speakin of wet ends, well, if any of you youngins wanna get your ends wet or your holes polled, well, you best be headin on down to the old Roadkill Radio merchandise store for all your fiddles and grits. We got T-shirts, hoodies, we got stickers and travel mugs and all sorts of great merchandise that you city-slickers just seem to lap on up. City-slickers, the big smoke, oh, calamity soon, what, why do you have to leave? Oh, just go to www.roadkillradioshow.merch, Roadkill Radio merchandise, from the most exploitative Bangladeshi sweatshop, direct to your door, oh, Calamity Sue. Why did you have to leave?" Our 53rd and 3rd album of the week this week is the same as our Girlsville record of the week. It's the mighty compilation, "Our Voltage", out now on girlsville.bandcamp.com. The song you heard from it that time was from Virvon Varvon, the song, "What Did You Say". Seven bucks will get you the digital copy or the CD, girlsville.bandcamp.com. Prior to that, you heard Atomic Suplex, the song, "Bathroom Party", from the album of the same name from 2012. Wipers were before that, the mighty wipers from Portland, Oregon, the song, "Romeo", from their "Over The Edge" album from 1982. From Melbourne, Australia, you heard Money For Rope, the song, "Six Gun Johnny", from their 2013 "Been In The Wars" album. Another Aussie band, the Hard Ons, legendary Hard Ons, "All Set To Go", the song, from their 1987 7" of the same name. Prior to the Hard Ons, I just like saying Hard Ons, so yeah, prior to the Hard Ons, The Flys, "Love and a Molotov Cocktail" from 1977. Then two songs from Mexico. Ugly Miss Piggy. They are a bit of a Roadkill Radio favourite these days, with the song "Cucaracha", from the Rock n Roll Bastards album from 2014. And a band that I am learning very quickly is quite the, what am I looking for here? What's the word? Stalwarts! They're stalwarts, in the Mexico City garage punk rock scene, Telekrimen. The song "Mutantes", from their "Resurrection of the Blood, Zombies from Beyond" album from 2009. And way back at the top, we started out with the Angry Samoans, "My Old Man's a Fatso", from the "Back From Samoa" album from 82, and the Urinals, "I'm White and Middle Class", which is my theme song, from their EP called "Another EP", because, well, it's hard coming up with titles, uh, from 1977. Right, you're listening to Roadkill Radio. It's time to go, but before we do, please indulge me, as we thank our sponsors, Dirty Water Records. Go to dirtywaterrecords.co.uk. They are taking music backwards into tomorrow. Plenty of great stuff on there. The Cavemen, Oh Gun Quit, Archie and the Bunkers The Darts, the list goes on and on. Garage rock, surf rock, that sort of stuff. If you dig that sort of stuff, Dirty Water Records is the record label for you. And who else, Girlsville Records? Talked about them to death today, and they deserve it, because they're awesome. So girlsville.bandcamp.com, go and check them out. And 53rdand3rd.com, you got the 50, the THIRD, the AND, the 3rd.com, written by Music Junkies, for Music Junkies. Plenty of great stuff on there. Go, do it. Time to go. But before we do, you know what we must do. Because prior to every bedtime, we must do this. Otherwise, baby Jesus will cry. We must pray. So please, get your praying hands in motion. Put your fucking hands together. And pray with me. To the strung out junkies, sniffers and huffers. To those living in a box. And to those living outside the box. To the gypsies, the nomads, the couch hoppers, the pill poppers. To the ones who see in colour. And the ones who speak in rainbows. You know who you are. You are the brilliant ones. Keep on dancing motherfuckers. This one's for you. I'm gonna go out with Flipper. They need no description. They need no introduction. It's Flipper. The song I'm going out with is “Life. Because life is the only thing worth living for. Try saying that to the squashed fucking possum in the middle of the road who I hope to God is making your watery stew a hell of a lot thicker and more nourishing than it originally was. Until next week, bye for now.
