#4: Stool Samples, Monkey Paws and Slovenly Rock n’ Roll

episode

26 June

It’s a corporate takeover in the Roadkill studios this week with a bunch o’ new sponsors, an ol’ fave stuck in Israel, one helluva stool sample, and oh… yeah… killer rock n’ roll.

So I roll into the clinic with my stool sample all shy n’ nervous cos the sample container is transparent n’ this is just ‘nother deep dive into human idiocy. This ain’t no sweet ride livin’ with parasites, a total bum trip, but hey, y’gotta lemonade the situation up a lil. Yer never alone when y’got a six meter tapeworm ridin’ the lower intestine. Friends come n’ go, but System Of A Down got it right: my tapeworm tells me what to do. It’s a flamin’ party down there, runs n’ all, courtesy of a buncha Bill Gates-funded mosquitoes or sumthin’. Now we’re in the business of making opaque containers with the RR logo just cos we’re stupid. Who needs a girl when y’got giardia swimmin’ ‘round the colon?

An’ then there’s the monkey paw. Three wishes they reckon. One for each new sponsor of the show. Good ol’ Slovenly Records have hooked us up an’ they got some killer new releases too, n’ now we gotta goddamn tea company on board, Ayusa, right after I rag on tea drinkers on air n’ all. Funny ol’ universe. N’ between the Punk 'n’ Metal n’ Spoof Maggots n’ Sex Faces n’ the shitter shootin’ we got Dead Air magazine all Pink Fairies this n’ MC5 that n’ well, I’ll be darned if they just didn’t throw in a buncha Expando Brain n’ Fonzie too. Keep lurkin’ through that peephole for a whole swag o’ stuff comin’ outta that publication. Welcome aboard friends. Let’s jam.

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