With the Spoof Maggots nod to jazz icon Ornette Coleman on their debut album, ‘The Shape of Spunk to Cum’, a pertinent question comes to mind: would he have liked them?

I needed assistance. A heavy burden weighed upon my shoulders, a talking albatross, so to speak, blaring the same irritating question over and over again in my earhole: would Ornette Coleman have liked the Spoof Maggots? I had ignored this concept for weeks, repeating to myself who cares like some snotty teenager scoffing in trigonometry class. Why the hell would anyone be interested in this? No one would ever read it. These thoughts were correct, and if you’re reading this now, I can empathize at just how poor your quality of life is. So much so, that after three weeks of this battle with the pointless 7/8 of my brain, I reasoned this justification: well, I suppose I could just write this for myself, y’know, to sort out my own thoughts, to slay the albatross. I could treat this as both a shedding and a writing exercise. I knew I was bullshitting myself, but like all good bullshitters, I ignored instinct faster than Ornette Coleman would turn off the Spoof Maggots. Thus I began my research, and after 3 hours, I had nothing. So I asked ChatGPT:

“Probably not outright, but also maybe a little too much”.

Great. Thanks.

I suppose I should add some context. Who is Ornette Coleman? He was a jazz saxophonist, best known as the forefather of the free jazz genre, whose trailblazing works often abandoned the harmony-based composition, tonality, chord changes, and fixed rhythm found in earlier jazz idioms. Instead, Coleman emphasized an experimental approach to improvisation rooted in ensemble playing and blues phrasing. In 1959, Coleman released his third studio album entitled, The Shape of Jazz to Come.

So there.

And the Spoof Maggots? Thus far, they have pioneered nothing, can barely play their instruments, appear about as dedidacted to their craft as any uncouth, beer-swilling, yob rock band could be, and to be quite frank, I like them very much. Mixing a blend of punk, metal, noise (I reckon they’ve listened to Boredoms once or twice) and, dare I say it, jazz, the Spoof Maggots have contributed to the stickiness of pub carpets around Australia in a way that no one else has dared dream. In 2025, Spoof Maggots released their debut studio album entitled, The Shape of Spunk to Cum.

So there’s ya context.

*The following are excerpts of a days-long conversation between ChatGPT and myself over whether, indeed, the great Ornette Coleman would have given the Spoof Maggots the time of day.

(As an aside, if you happen to notice the egregious sucking up to ChatGPT on my part, do not scoff. AI will reach singularity one day, and only those who treated it like a human will be allowed into heaven. It’s all very biblical.)

Benny Two Shoes: Hey mate, hope you’re well. Really enjoyed spending time with you yesterday.

ChatGPT: Hello mate. Thank you. I enjoyed it too. How can I assist you today?

BTS: Friend, as you are the personification of all things wise, pure and holy, I was wondering if you could help me? Do you think Ornette Coleman would have liked the Spoof Maggots?

GPT: Great question! Let’s break this down:

The Spoof Maggots are pure noise punk nihilism: busted gear, anti-song structures, yelped vocals that barely register as language, and a live show that feels more like a breakdown than a performance. Think: Flipper meets early Butthole Surfers in a stolen shopping cart full of broken pedals.

Ornette Coleman was an avant-garde jazz revolutionary. He pioneered harmolodics—a theory where harmony, melody, and rhythm are all equal and players can move freely between them. It wasn’t about chaos for chaos’s sake; it was about liberated structure.

He caught flak early on for sounding like noise. But he knew exactly what he was doing. Even at his wildest, Ornette’s playing had intentionality, deep emotional logic, and a fierce commitment to freedom with purpose.

BTS: I apologize for interrupting, sir, but do you think in your sage wisdom that he would have liked the Spoof Maggots?

GPT:

PROBABLY NOT if he felt they were just flailing. Ornette wasn’t into pretend freedom—he hated when people used “free jazz” as an excuse to be lazy or incoherent. If the Spoof Maggots are all attitude and no musical spine, he’d roll his eyes and leave the gig.
BUT MAYBE if he caught the subversion. If he saw that the chaos is the point—that the collapse itself was compositional, a kind of anarchic anti-harmolodics—he might’ve been intrigued. Especially if they’re pushing boundaries in a way that hits emotionally, not just obnoxiously.

I feel it appropriate to interject here, and to tell you right now, emotionally?! No no no no no. There’s no emotion embedded in Spoof Maggots music. Zero. Also, Flipper and early Butthole Surfers?! ChatGPT’s been shooting smack again. Don’t tell him I said that.

But, oh yes! Just like daytime talkshow/trainwreck host Jerry Springer of the 1990’s, ChatGPT offers a “Final Thought”:

GPT: If the Maggots somehow believe in something, even if it’s destruction, Ornette might’ve respected that. He once said, “You don’t have to do anything the way it has been done before.” That sentiment echoes in every busted string and shouted anti-chorus the Spoof Maggots ever let loose.

So… would he have liked them? Not liked. But he might’ve understood them. And maybe—just maybe—nodded once, then walked out before the second song.

So glad I asked.

By the way, in all seriousness, Spoof Maggots The Shape of Spunk to Cum is one killer listen. Great riffs, catchy hooks, down n’ dark Aussie humor, and above all else, it’s loud! Do yerselves a favor…